Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Photographs: "And I took your childish laughter by surprise And at the moment that my camera happened to find you There was just a trace of sorrow in your eyes" Fountain of Sorrow - Jackson Browne

July 1983
 Everything changes when you have children. Even if you've planned for it, there is suddenly a new aspect to your life you couldn't have predicted. Each one reminds you how unprepared you were. Each has their own dynamics, needs, and lessons for us. I am thankful for what each of those three has taught me and continues to teach me. 

What started,for me, as a safe place in the woods was transformed into a shelter where my family could find their own safe place in an increasingly complex world. At any rate, that was what I hoped. It remains to be seen if I was successful.

I had found my home and my next task was to make it a home for others. With a chainsaw, a shovel and, eventually, a tractor I sought to transform 100 acres of woods into a place to grow and thrive. All that with the encouragement and help of my little family.
We had to finish the house so there would be rooms for everyone with plumbing and heating to provide an element of comfort. The work needed to provide for those basics was nothing compared to the effort necessary to learn and grow as a parent and spouse in a ways that would put others first. It was a transformation that was not immediate and it's hard to even say if I was successful. Perhaps that's not for me to say.

I can't help but come to the end of this phase of my blog with some mixed feelings. The work on the land and in the woods helped me to gain a personal footing in the world. But I failed as often as succeeded as a partner and a parent and the jury is still out. 

Perhaps some background (even further back) is necessary. I plan to go forward with some looks at other times and places. Stay tuned....

2001 Blue Hill
Christmas Visit 2002